It did not take long to dispose of Ketsuo's body; Zhizhu returned to find Yi still cleaning up the blood and bits of brain matter that had splattered with the gunshot. She regarded the scene coolly, her gaze lingering on the cold metal table where the yakuza lieutenant had lain. She scowled, clenching a fist, and did not notice Yi's wince at her sudden change in mood.
It was her first time torturing simply for information. She'd agreed readily to the plan, looking forward to the new experience. And yet, with the man in her clutches, it had proven disappointing. He had broken so quickly that at first she'd been convinced he was faking. She'd relished the thought of working on one with the will of a yakuza, a man who'd risen to power by stepping on the backs of others.
And yet, nothing. The experience was empty. Perhaps it was simply that the experience came on the heels of the headiness that followed breaking Yi. She'd experienced so much triumph and satisfaction from that act, it'd felt like the high of a drug. No wonder that such a simple job as Ketsuo felt like a letdown.
Suddenly, she grimaced, as if in pain. Was it that headiness, that rush of power, which led so many astray? Had she begun to set her foot upon the first step to becoming an akuma? No. A fate that one is aware of is a fate that one may avoid. Still, she thought, I understand better how the Yama Kings could have set aside their duties to Heaven.
She looked at Yi, who had paused in his cleaning and was watching her with wide eyes. When he saw her looking at him, his head snapped down and he redoubled his efforts. That heady feeling returned, and she dissected it. Triumph--it had taken weeks to grind him down, to reduce a proud, powerful man to this. Satisfaction--she had sucessfully dealt with one facet of her koa. She had taken her vengeance. And yet, that was not all.
She tried to think of Yi in the hells. He would suffer, oh yes. Probably more than any torture she could devise. And yet, his spirit would be wasted in hell. It would stay there, for eternity, as a toy for some Yama King. She thought long on the punishment she had chosen for him, and decided it was just. He had treated her as nothing more than a blow-up doll, something pretty to trot out in front of his clients and then put away until he needed to fuck something. She could only assume he'd treated his other wife the same way.
Now he was the lowly one, the one who served and had little value beyond that. He would learn about the pain he had inflicted, pain which had nothing to do with physical wounds. She felt the rightness of that, and she smiled.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
family matters, part two
Shard's self-isolation was somehow unsettling to Zhizhu. She wasn't sure why this was so, and sat to poke and prod her thoughts and feelings into order. It was not as if Shard had ever been overwhelmingly social. She sometimes seemed to wear her shyness as armor, except when she was around Kiku--or when she'd gotten so involved in some explanation or plan that she'd forgotten her timidity. Yet Shard had never before gone out of her way to avoid everyone for so long.
Zhizhu knew the other girl must still be grieving, though she retreated into her dharma's Black Metal Egg to do so. And Shard had been correct when she'd pointed out that Zhizhu had never known love, could never know the pain that accompanied the tragic end of that love. Zhizhu regretted her conversation with Shard; it had done neither of them any good.
She spent a few moments wishing she could take back the entire conversation, but allowed those thoughts to pass on. She couldn't take it back, and she wouldn't waste her time crying about it. She wanted to support her uji-mate, but didn't know how. She respected the other dharmas, and yet had almost berated Shard for following hers. She wished that Shard would accept the pain, make it a part of herself and thus grow stronger--but she could not expect a Bone Flower to let loose the Howl of the Devil-Tiger. Shard had her own road to walk, and Zhizhu needed to accept that.
What would the others think, if they could see into her thoughts? Would they believe that it was more than the bindings of ritual which held her to them? She smiled, a small, bitter thing. She could hear her shadow soul, felt the disdain of her darker self. If the others could hear you, they'd use your weaknesses against you. Or worse, they'd pity you, fool that you are. Why waste any time or energy worrying about them? You should be focusing on their weak spots. Play them like you all played the Amidas. Bring them under your control without them ever knowing you orchestrated the entire thing.
Shut. Up.
No! You've had plenty of chances to have this uji firmly under your bootheel, and you've discarded them all! I'll make you listen to me! I'll lay the traps and wait for them to blunder into my web!
She felt her P'o struggle for control, rising and ripping through to the forefront of her consciousness. This is my uji. You will not hurt them. You will not control them! It was like the fight with Tetsumiya all over again, except it was a purely mental battle. It was not claw versus sword; will was the weapon in this battle of her split soul.
WHY DO YOU CARE?! They are your uji only because you were all in the right place at the right time! The Court threw you together. They are only stepping stones!
No, they aren't. It doesn't matter why I care. Only that I do! The Court may have simply thrown us to together for their purposes. That doesn't matter either. You will not touch them. I would lay down my life for any of them--Keeper, Shard, or Flaring Grin. They may not know it--I may not show it--but they are what I never had in my First Breath.
And what is that?, the demon sneered.
She thought of her uji. Of Flaring Grin's compassion and laughter. Of Keeper's quiet strength and Shard's sweet shyness and sharp mind. And she thought she might understand what love was after all. My family.
She held back the raging force of her P'o. Had she been scarlet-cycled, she might have broken a sweat with the effort it cost her. But in the end, her demon-self slunk off into the shadows of her psyche.
Zhizhu knew the other girl must still be grieving, though she retreated into her dharma's Black Metal Egg to do so. And Shard had been correct when she'd pointed out that Zhizhu had never known love, could never know the pain that accompanied the tragic end of that love. Zhizhu regretted her conversation with Shard; it had done neither of them any good.
She spent a few moments wishing she could take back the entire conversation, but allowed those thoughts to pass on. She couldn't take it back, and she wouldn't waste her time crying about it. She wanted to support her uji-mate, but didn't know how. She respected the other dharmas, and yet had almost berated Shard for following hers. She wished that Shard would accept the pain, make it a part of herself and thus grow stronger--but she could not expect a Bone Flower to let loose the Howl of the Devil-Tiger. Shard had her own road to walk, and Zhizhu needed to accept that.
What would the others think, if they could see into her thoughts? Would they believe that it was more than the bindings of ritual which held her to them? She smiled, a small, bitter thing. She could hear her shadow soul, felt the disdain of her darker self. If the others could hear you, they'd use your weaknesses against you. Or worse, they'd pity you, fool that you are. Why waste any time or energy worrying about them? You should be focusing on their weak spots. Play them like you all played the Amidas. Bring them under your control without them ever knowing you orchestrated the entire thing.
Shut. Up.
No! You've had plenty of chances to have this uji firmly under your bootheel, and you've discarded them all! I'll make you listen to me! I'll lay the traps and wait for them to blunder into my web!
She felt her P'o struggle for control, rising and ripping through to the forefront of her consciousness. This is my uji. You will not hurt them. You will not control them! It was like the fight with Tetsumiya all over again, except it was a purely mental battle. It was not claw versus sword; will was the weapon in this battle of her split soul.
WHY DO YOU CARE?! They are your uji only because you were all in the right place at the right time! The Court threw you together. They are only stepping stones!
No, they aren't. It doesn't matter why I care. Only that I do! The Court may have simply thrown us to together for their purposes. That doesn't matter either. You will not touch them. I would lay down my life for any of them--Keeper, Shard, or Flaring Grin. They may not know it--I may not show it--but they are what I never had in my First Breath.
And what is that?, the demon sneered.
She thought of her uji. Of Flaring Grin's compassion and laughter. Of Keeper's quiet strength and Shard's sweet shyness and sharp mind. And she thought she might understand what love was after all. My family.
She held back the raging force of her P'o. Had she been scarlet-cycled, she might have broken a sweat with the effort it cost her. But in the end, her demon-self slunk off into the shadows of her psyche.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
two sides of the coin
Rage--it had welled up within her, an ice cold fire that had surprised her with its intensity. She watched as Shard ran to the body of her murdered lover, watched as the Bone Flower collapsed in the blood to clutch Kiku's head. Tetsumiya, a part of whispered, some part that seemed neither wind or shadow soul, but some piece of her awakened by that flaming cold inside her.
Almost without realizing what she was doing, she ran to the service telephone in the hallway. She marveled at how calmly she waited while the operator connected her to the security department. Her voice was as even as ever, as she informed the men that Kiku-san was dead, that Tetsumiya was her murderer and must be detained. And yet she knew, somehow, that he was already gone.
Shard, as she had feared, was devastated. It was better to leave the girl here, to the security of the Clouds & Rain and what agents of the court would be summoned. From what Zhizhu had seen, Shard was too deeply entrenched in her grief to do what needed to be done now. The rage flared again, as sharp on her heart as the mirror shards that littered the bloody floor. It was time to go, and Zhizhu was impatient to be after Tetsumiya.
The rest of her uji was not too far behind her, despite the greater maneuverability of her motorcycle. The demon within her decried all rationality, urging her to heedless action. But she would not be ruled by her shadow soul, even though she wished to tear out Tetsumiya's heart with her bare hands. She quelled the worst of her demon's urges, channeling the rest as she shifted to her demon form outside Tetsumiya's dojo.
The students she fought were almost nothing to her, as if they'd been nothing but mannequins thrown at her by her true target. When she did see Tetsumiya, she knew it was him. She could see the resemblance to Kiku, in the arch of his brow, the line of his nose. Images flashed through her mind; throwing open the door of the Clouds & Rain fitness room, blood reflected in the shattered, mirrored walls, Kiku's bloodless, lifeless face. The expression on Shard's face, as if all the light in the world had suddenly been extinguished.
The fight was evenly matched. Claw against sword, the two of them flowed through steps in a dance only one would finish. The rest of her uji was, for the moment, forgotten. This man, this thrice-damned dhampyr, would pay for murdering Kiku. He'd killed others, but it was Kiku's death that she could not let go un-avenged. How dare he?! How dare he decide that because his existence was misery, that he was going to extinguish such a light and beauty as Kiku?! Her demon rose up, laughing at her anger and seeking to ride it to the forefront of her consciousness.
Somehow, she managed to quell her demon as she fought. Walls were smashed through, and she barely evaded his blows. He raked at her, catching her in a place unprotected by her demon's carapace. The pain nearly stunned her, and she was slow to recover. However, she threw him against another wall, into the tiled-lined showers. It was almost cinematic, the damage they did to the room around them as they fought. Steam from broken pipes filled the room; Tetsumiya's face shone with sweat and water rolled in large droplets off the shiny black of her body.
And suddenly, it was over. She'd slipped through Tetsumiya's defense, skewering him on her claws. Triumphant, she watched the man die, feeling his last twitches as she pushed his body off her arm. The hate and rage faded. A death for a death. Darkness taken to balance the light he had murdered. She was bruised, hungry from spending her chi to heal during the fight. Once again, she fought down her demon as she bent to take what little chi the dojo-master had left.
The aftermath was brief. Yakuza agents from the court set out to hunt down what remained of Tetsumiya's students. The Thousand Ri Scouts were instructed to return to the Court of the White River. Tetsumiya's body was unceremoniously dumped into the trunk of the car Flaring Grin drove. They reunited with Shard at the court, but Zhizhu was not sure the Bone Flower was even cognizant of her surroundings.
Shard answered the questions of Yamabushi-sama, but offered no words of her own. Even after the uji was dismissed, Shard ignored them. Zhizhu followed her only long enough to assure her that Tetsumiya had suffered. Beyond that, there was nothing the Devil-Tiger could do for her uji-mate. Time would tell if she was so lost in her grief that the uji would be broken once again. Until then, Zhizhu was content to give the Song of Shadows the solitude she obviously wanted.
Zhizhu had never known love so heart-wrenchingly strong. She watched Shard walk towards the Bone Flower gardens, Flaring Grin trailing in her wake. For a moment, it was not regret or pity that she felt towards Shard, but a sharp stab of envy. What was such a bond like? What was it like to love someone so much? To feel that love returned to you? She ignored the condescension of her shadow soul. Weakness was besides the point. She felt she could understand the Laughing Rainbows a little more, if that level of passion was what they sought. And in the same moment, she also understood the Bone Flowers' desire to set such debilitating passion aside.
Was there no place in her existence for beauty and light? She thought of Sweet Swallow's Song, of the music that was so very much a part of her fellow Devil-Tiger. Zhizhu did not know how to pursue the nebulous desires of her wind soul. She only knew that the human part of her was stronger these days. Still, the path she walked was one of a devil on earth. After the fight with Tetsumiya, she knew that she should be more than just an even match against any mortal, even one of the dhampyr. It was time to see Terrible Thunder Talons and improve her ability to channel her demon.
While she trained, the Scouts returned to Anjiro. Flaring Grin was focused on taking over the yakuza family there. Zhizhu could see the importance of controlling them, especially after the Yedo yakuza family had shown up to the fight at the dojo. She did not, however, see what she could do to help his endeavor. If he needed someone killed, or tortured, so be it. Beyond that, he'd have to turn to the others. She was no politician, and her idea of diplomacy was to actually inform her victims that she had a gun to their head before she pulled the trigger.
Still, she would do what she could. There was just so much she needed to do. She wished to take a more active hand in the training of the infant devil. She looked forward to the time when she had a name with which to call him, rather than simply referring to him as the "infant devil." And of course there was Yi. She needed to return to him, to finish his training. She'd been much too sporadic, and she feared that she'd need to backtrack.
She needn't have worried. When she did return to Yi, she had a moment in which she just knew what to do that would push him over the edge. Almost lovingly, she plied her arts and was rewarded by his complete breakdown. He was her creature now, and he would serve her like dog. Her phone rang at one point, but she merely turned it off and tossed it onto her folded coat. Nothing would interrupt this moment of triumph. His screams were more beautiful than any music Sweet Swallow's Song could produce. Who needed love when she had hate as pure as this?
Almost without realizing what she was doing, she ran to the service telephone in the hallway. She marveled at how calmly she waited while the operator connected her to the security department. Her voice was as even as ever, as she informed the men that Kiku-san was dead, that Tetsumiya was her murderer and must be detained. And yet she knew, somehow, that he was already gone.
Shard, as she had feared, was devastated. It was better to leave the girl here, to the security of the Clouds & Rain and what agents of the court would be summoned. From what Zhizhu had seen, Shard was too deeply entrenched in her grief to do what needed to be done now. The rage flared again, as sharp on her heart as the mirror shards that littered the bloody floor. It was time to go, and Zhizhu was impatient to be after Tetsumiya.
The rest of her uji was not too far behind her, despite the greater maneuverability of her motorcycle. The demon within her decried all rationality, urging her to heedless action. But she would not be ruled by her shadow soul, even though she wished to tear out Tetsumiya's heart with her bare hands. She quelled the worst of her demon's urges, channeling the rest as she shifted to her demon form outside Tetsumiya's dojo.
The students she fought were almost nothing to her, as if they'd been nothing but mannequins thrown at her by her true target. When she did see Tetsumiya, she knew it was him. She could see the resemblance to Kiku, in the arch of his brow, the line of his nose. Images flashed through her mind; throwing open the door of the Clouds & Rain fitness room, blood reflected in the shattered, mirrored walls, Kiku's bloodless, lifeless face. The expression on Shard's face, as if all the light in the world had suddenly been extinguished.
The fight was evenly matched. Claw against sword, the two of them flowed through steps in a dance only one would finish. The rest of her uji was, for the moment, forgotten. This man, this thrice-damned dhampyr, would pay for murdering Kiku. He'd killed others, but it was Kiku's death that she could not let go un-avenged. How dare he?! How dare he decide that because his existence was misery, that he was going to extinguish such a light and beauty as Kiku?! Her demon rose up, laughing at her anger and seeking to ride it to the forefront of her consciousness.
Somehow, she managed to quell her demon as she fought. Walls were smashed through, and she barely evaded his blows. He raked at her, catching her in a place unprotected by her demon's carapace. The pain nearly stunned her, and she was slow to recover. However, she threw him against another wall, into the tiled-lined showers. It was almost cinematic, the damage they did to the room around them as they fought. Steam from broken pipes filled the room; Tetsumiya's face shone with sweat and water rolled in large droplets off the shiny black of her body.
And suddenly, it was over. She'd slipped through Tetsumiya's defense, skewering him on her claws. Triumphant, she watched the man die, feeling his last twitches as she pushed his body off her arm. The hate and rage faded. A death for a death. Darkness taken to balance the light he had murdered. She was bruised, hungry from spending her chi to heal during the fight. Once again, she fought down her demon as she bent to take what little chi the dojo-master had left.
The aftermath was brief. Yakuza agents from the court set out to hunt down what remained of Tetsumiya's students. The Thousand Ri Scouts were instructed to return to the Court of the White River. Tetsumiya's body was unceremoniously dumped into the trunk of the car Flaring Grin drove. They reunited with Shard at the court, but Zhizhu was not sure the Bone Flower was even cognizant of her surroundings.
Shard answered the questions of Yamabushi-sama, but offered no words of her own. Even after the uji was dismissed, Shard ignored them. Zhizhu followed her only long enough to assure her that Tetsumiya had suffered. Beyond that, there was nothing the Devil-Tiger could do for her uji-mate. Time would tell if she was so lost in her grief that the uji would be broken once again. Until then, Zhizhu was content to give the Song of Shadows the solitude she obviously wanted.
Zhizhu had never known love so heart-wrenchingly strong. She watched Shard walk towards the Bone Flower gardens, Flaring Grin trailing in her wake. For a moment, it was not regret or pity that she felt towards Shard, but a sharp stab of envy. What was such a bond like? What was it like to love someone so much? To feel that love returned to you? She ignored the condescension of her shadow soul. Weakness was besides the point. She felt she could understand the Laughing Rainbows a little more, if that level of passion was what they sought. And in the same moment, she also understood the Bone Flowers' desire to set such debilitating passion aside.
Was there no place in her existence for beauty and light? She thought of Sweet Swallow's Song, of the music that was so very much a part of her fellow Devil-Tiger. Zhizhu did not know how to pursue the nebulous desires of her wind soul. She only knew that the human part of her was stronger these days. Still, the path she walked was one of a devil on earth. After the fight with Tetsumiya, she knew that she should be more than just an even match against any mortal, even one of the dhampyr. It was time to see Terrible Thunder Talons and improve her ability to channel her demon.
While she trained, the Scouts returned to Anjiro. Flaring Grin was focused on taking over the yakuza family there. Zhizhu could see the importance of controlling them, especially after the Yedo yakuza family had shown up to the fight at the dojo. She did not, however, see what she could do to help his endeavor. If he needed someone killed, or tortured, so be it. Beyond that, he'd have to turn to the others. She was no politician, and her idea of diplomacy was to actually inform her victims that she had a gun to their head before she pulled the trigger.
Still, she would do what she could. There was just so much she needed to do. She wished to take a more active hand in the training of the infant devil. She looked forward to the time when she had a name with which to call him, rather than simply referring to him as the "infant devil." And of course there was Yi. She needed to return to him, to finish his training. She'd been much too sporadic, and she feared that she'd need to backtrack.
She needn't have worried. When she did return to Yi, she had a moment in which she just knew what to do that would push him over the edge. Almost lovingly, she plied her arts and was rewarded by his complete breakdown. He was her creature now, and he would serve her like dog. Her phone rang at one point, but she merely turned it off and tossed it onto her folded coat. Nothing would interrupt this moment of triumph. His screams were more beautiful than any music Sweet Swallow's Song could produce. Who needed love when she had hate as pure as this?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
a question of motives
Like a boulder pushed from the top of a great hill, events seemed to be crashing and rolling with increasing severity. First, the murders of the dhampyr--now, a gaki killed. Zhizhu leaned forward to make herself more aerodynamic on the motorcycle, the wind whipping her hair wildly. Shard had asked her to join the rest of the uji at the graveyard where Scarlet Seed had meet his end. The Tiger was not so sure that was where she was actually headed.
Why, she thought, would anyone be killing dhampyrs? The Sohei could be doing it, but would the Sohei bother? Now that Scarlet Seed had been killed, she could more readily imagine the Sohei being behind it. Shard's attachment to Kiku aside, the dhampyr were commonly seen by gaki as tools to be used or set aside. Perhaps the Sohei had been using the dhampyr as well, to get to Scarlet Seed. But why?
Why do you care? the demon laughed.
Because a threat capable of taking out Scarlet Seed is a threat to the entire court.
The demon laughed harder. Good one. Why do you really care?
Zhizhu pondered that question more seriously. I do not wish to see Kiku hurt. Or Shard.
Sentimental fool.
Shard is like her namesake. Fragile. A threat to Kiku has turned her hysterical. Should Kiku meet the same fate as her siblings, it is possible that Shard will come apart. Sentiment has little to do with it.
Liar.
My uji is in a tenuous place. Too many unknowns factor into the balance of this.
You should use Shard's weakness. She is unfit to be in your uji--now is the perfect time to remove her. That infant devil shows much more promise, especially since you are to have a hand in his training. Besides, the Scouts are now not the only uji lacking a fifth member. Play your cards right, and your position can be elevated.
Shard's intelligence is more than a match for your scheming, and to turn against her at this time would reflect poorly upon me. Your plotting will earn me nothing more than a well-deserved sepuku. Shard's flame has been burning steadily brighter. I will not be the one to extinguish that!
She pulled the bike over suddenly, pulling out her cell phone and punching in Flaring Grin's number.
Why, she thought, would anyone be killing dhampyrs? The Sohei could be doing it, but would the Sohei bother? Now that Scarlet Seed had been killed, she could more readily imagine the Sohei being behind it. Shard's attachment to Kiku aside, the dhampyr were commonly seen by gaki as tools to be used or set aside. Perhaps the Sohei had been using the dhampyr as well, to get to Scarlet Seed. But why?
Why do you care? the demon laughed.
Because a threat capable of taking out Scarlet Seed is a threat to the entire court.
The demon laughed harder. Good one. Why do you really care?
Zhizhu pondered that question more seriously. I do not wish to see Kiku hurt. Or Shard.
Sentimental fool.
Shard is like her namesake. Fragile. A threat to Kiku has turned her hysterical. Should Kiku meet the same fate as her siblings, it is possible that Shard will come apart. Sentiment has little to do with it.
Liar.
My uji is in a tenuous place. Too many unknowns factor into the balance of this.
You should use Shard's weakness. She is unfit to be in your uji--now is the perfect time to remove her. That infant devil shows much more promise, especially since you are to have a hand in his training. Besides, the Scouts are now not the only uji lacking a fifth member. Play your cards right, and your position can be elevated.
Shard's intelligence is more than a match for your scheming, and to turn against her at this time would reflect poorly upon me. Your plotting will earn me nothing more than a well-deserved sepuku. Shard's flame has been burning steadily brighter. I will not be the one to extinguish that!
She pulled the bike over suddenly, pulling out her cell phone and punching in Flaring Grin's number.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
silver screen memories
Zhizhu stood in Flaring Grin's mostly empty apartment; it showed more signs of habitation now. The Devil-Tiger wondered how much of that was because of Joko, even though she had been staying there only briefly. Zhizhu studied the mortal girl; since pledging not to harm to her, Joko had relaxed somewhat. She was listening, rapt, to Kiku's eloquent descriptions of the latest trends for the high end of society. She almost looked as if she hadn't just been told that the hells were real and the world contained more strange things than she'd ever dared dream.
In fact, Zhizhu could picture herself sitting there, entranced and smiling. She had been like that, once. Vibrant, and so alive. She found it difficult to grasp those memories, feeling as if her life before had happened to another person, and she had only watched it on a movie screen.
Why do you wish to dwell on such things? her demon whispered. They are weak spots, leaving you vulnerable. It is good to distance yourself from such petty nonsense. You have much more important things to ponder. Now... if the others show weakness over this girl... perhaps you can exploit that...
But Zhizhu had no wish to listen to her demon's plotting this night. Joko had triggered something in the Devil-Tiger. Not exactly compassion--although Zhizhu knew herself to not be so removed from that emotion as she let on. It was more of an awakening. Yes, her road led to wickedness... but she could not lose sight of that human part of her soul. She must ride her P'o... but she must not forget her Hun. If she lost that... she would be no better than the akuma she reviled.
With a small smile, Zhizhu turned her attention to Kiku. She was not human any longer--but perhaps she could recapture some small part of her Hun before it slipped out of her grasp completely.
In fact, Zhizhu could picture herself sitting there, entranced and smiling. She had been like that, once. Vibrant, and so alive. She found it difficult to grasp those memories, feeling as if her life before had happened to another person, and she had only watched it on a movie screen.
Why do you wish to dwell on such things? her demon whispered. They are weak spots, leaving you vulnerable. It is good to distance yourself from such petty nonsense. You have much more important things to ponder. Now... if the others show weakness over this girl... perhaps you can exploit that...
But Zhizhu had no wish to listen to her demon's plotting this night. Joko had triggered something in the Devil-Tiger. Not exactly compassion--although Zhizhu knew herself to not be so removed from that emotion as she let on. It was more of an awakening. Yes, her road led to wickedness... but she could not lose sight of that human part of her soul. She must ride her P'o... but she must not forget her Hun. If she lost that... she would be no better than the akuma she reviled.
With a small smile, Zhizhu turned her attention to Kiku. She was not human any longer--but perhaps she could recapture some small part of her Hun before it slipped out of her grasp completely.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Thoughts while driving
The Devil-Tiger reached over and flipped shut her cell phone, leaving it on the dashboard. Shard’s words stung, not only because of the veiled reprimand. In her rush towards enlightenment, towards leaving her human life behind her, she had neglected her duties to her uji. Zhizhu was a solitary creature in her Second Breath, reluctant to open herself. But Shard was correct; had the uji needed her, she would have been beyond their reach.
She admitted, silently, that she needed to find a balance between her solitary leanings and the need to communicate with her uji. Things had gone well at Yi’s house. She allowed herself a brief, satisfied smile. But they may not have. Yi might have returned with others. Unknown multitudes of things might have gone wrong, and she would have been alone to face them. Doing so might be her preference, but she had agreed to be re-bound to the Thousand Li Scouts. She could not ignore them, nor exclude them so completely from her dealings. Their fates were bound.
After the report, she decided, when we return to Anjiro, I will speak to them. Reluctantly, she admitted that she must apologize as well. She glanced at the Hollow Reed in the passenger seat beside her. If Keeper could learn to use a cell phone, she mused, then I may yet learn to cooperate with my uji.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Blood and Flames
Zhizhu felt a grumbling resentment at Flaring Grin's brief admonishment for her actions. She refused to apologize for her actions. To do anything other than act when the moment had presented itself so perfectly--even to simply wait for her uji-mates--would be to deny her own dharma. Perhaps the consequences would not have been so chaotic, but she was beginning to have a taste for chaos. Her life had been so structured, so controlled. The Devil Tigers had the right of it--act without hesitation.
She may have been laying her trap, patiently spinning out threads like her namesake, but one strong wind could blow it all away. Nothing could be predicted, but consequences could be dealt with. Webs could be respun. What mattered was the man in her dark warehouse basement, and the corpses rotting in their homes.
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Yet she was part of an uji, and those bonds tugged at her. Her resentment grumbled on, but she was disquieted by much that had happened. Keeper's death was a blow to the uji; his state as a yulan-jin would bring yet more disgrace and ill luck. Shard's excessive penance puzzled and irritated the Devil Tiger--she obviously sought the pain to salve her own guilt, but had she learned anything from it? The Bone Flower did not act as if the seppuku had changed anything. But perhaps it was a lesson that would come in time. Zhizhu refused to believe that anyone could remain untouched by such an experience.
Days passed, and there was no sign of Keeper's return. Zhizhu knew very little of the yulan-jin, and no idea what to expect, only that Keeper would have different body. A handy trick, but from what she had heard, a trick which had too high a cost. Not knowing what to do about Keeper, she turned her energies to Hirata Nakamora.
She had learned the art of pain from her teachers at the Court, but this was the first time she'd put those skills to use on her own. She did not plan--she acted. Little hurts and large ones, torture both physical and mental. It did not have to be elaborate--she would have time to experiment and refine her techniques. She wanted him to beg, and he did. She wanted him shamed, and he was. After 7 days, when she finally allowed Hirata to die, she knew that he had been broken.
A new clarity seemed to blossom within her, and she felt more than ever the Howl of the Devil Tiger that lifted her soul towards the fire of enlightenment.
She may have been laying her trap, patiently spinning out threads like her namesake, but one strong wind could blow it all away. Nothing could be predicted, but consequences could be dealt with. Webs could be respun. What mattered was the man in her dark warehouse basement, and the corpses rotting in their homes.
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Yet she was part of an uji, and those bonds tugged at her. Her resentment grumbled on, but she was disquieted by much that had happened. Keeper's death was a blow to the uji; his state as a yulan-jin would bring yet more disgrace and ill luck. Shard's excessive penance puzzled and irritated the Devil Tiger--she obviously sought the pain to salve her own guilt, but had she learned anything from it? The Bone Flower did not act as if the seppuku had changed anything. But perhaps it was a lesson that would come in time. Zhizhu refused to believe that anyone could remain untouched by such an experience.
Days passed, and there was no sign of Keeper's return. Zhizhu knew very little of the yulan-jin, and no idea what to expect, only that Keeper would have different body. A handy trick, but from what she had heard, a trick which had too high a cost. Not knowing what to do about Keeper, she turned her energies to Hirata Nakamora.
She had learned the art of pain from her teachers at the Court, but this was the first time she'd put those skills to use on her own. She did not plan--she acted. Little hurts and large ones, torture both physical and mental. It did not have to be elaborate--she would have time to experiment and refine her techniques. She wanted him to beg, and he did. She wanted him shamed, and he was. After 7 days, when she finally allowed Hirata to die, she knew that he had been broken.
A new clarity seemed to blossom within her, and she felt more than ever the Howl of the Devil Tiger that lifted her soul towards the fire of enlightenment.
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